Change

I have been thinking a lot about change lately. Mostly because a lot of things in my life are changing, which has been causing me anxiety. But when I think about changes, and I take out the fear, I find that change is beautiful, and maybe even sacred (but not secret, you can talk about change).

Change creates growth and learning, which is pretty exciting actually. But because we are growing, learning, and stretching our boundaries, change can seem scary. Right now I have no idea what kind of job I will get, where I will go, how it will impact my financial life, my personal life, or my relationship. What if the best job for me ends up being one that makes me move away? I would be so sad. I don't want to leave J. So I'm not really applying outside of this area, but what if it just happens that way? (See the awfulizing coming in?) I just keep going with 'what if...'

There are a lot of unknowns with change, and I typically react with anxiety and stress. However, I am working on looking at the unknown as endless possibilities, of so many good things that can come my way. I do know for sure, that when I focus my energy/ask God/ ask the Universe etc for something, the answer is always yes. So if I focus on the negative (which I am prone to do with depression and all) then I will attract negative things/experiences. Because no matter how good anything is, depression/negativity leaves me dissatisfied.

However, if I am very aware, and focus on good things coming into my life, then that is what I will get. Really, it's all about if I see the glass as half empty or the glass as half full.

So, change is a good thing. It helps me learn. I posted this quote on facebook last week, but wanted to share it again here, because I absolutely love it. It has given me courage to keep going when others said, 'Stay in an unfulfilling job, at least you're making money.' I really felt inside of me that it was time for a change, and while I haven't just easily transitioned into a knew one and I have challenges, I'm glad I left.

"We are born fully equipped to break free of past confining conditions that no longer serve us. And it is our destiny to do so. That inner impulse, that yearning to explore beyond the boundaries of our daily life permeates every living thing, and its voice perpetually whispers in our inner ear, 'Grow, grow, grow' But, there is another voice that often speaks much louder, the voice of fear. It shouts, 'No, no, no... Stay right where you are. While you may not like it, you risk nothing by staying put.' But unfortunately, that is the big lie. There is great risk in resisting the divine urge to grow." -Dennis Merritt Jones, The Art of Uncertainty


Change can be scary for everyone. It can be horrifying for someone with depression/anxiety. But it doesn't have to be bad if we open ourselves up to the possibilities the change can make us better people.

There is another quote I read in a book this weekend, "Change is a combination of time and effort. Keep Going." -Elna Baker

I am making a lot of changes in my life right now. They aren't going as smoothly as I would like, but I feel I am making changes to make my life better. So, I am making the effort, and I get to wait for time, and I am going to keep going.
"The dragonfly, in almost every part of the world symbolizes change and change in the perspective of self realization; and the kind of change that has its source in mental and emotional maturity and the understanding of the deeper meaning of life"