5 Things I am Grateful For

I've had a shitty day. So here is what I am thankful for today:

1. I haven't farted or taken a loud dump in the new place I am living. It just wouldn't make a great impression on the new roommates. Not to mention the bathroom is right next to one of my roommates bedrooms, where her and her boyfriend have been hanging out for the past two days because she is sick. So yes, I am thankful for no digestive problems, because there is no hiding it in this place.

2. My roommates dogs. They are so damn cute, and even if I don't really get why life is worth living, they get me through each moment that I see them. I don't know why any of us are alive or why any of it matters, but hell, they're cute, they're here, I'm here, let's play!

3. I am grateful for my car. It works well. It's warm. I am alive, and while I am, I am grateful for a working car. It's the best when it runs well, I have no anxiety about needing gas, needing the oil changed, etc. I don't know the purpose of my existence, but while I'm here I'm grateful for what I've got. It makes this crazy life better...less painful. I guess I'm expected to have a job, and be able to work so I can buy shit, and do shit, and somehow I am supposed to feel fulfilled. So thank you car for getting me there to do it all. But seriously....thankful for the car.

4. The beautiful weather. It could be snowing, cold, and gloomy, but it has been sunny, not all that cold, and the sky is clear. I like that. Thank you sunshine!

5. My parents. I call them all the time. Seriously wondering if I should just move home. Hey, half the people that actually graduated from college are, so I guess it wouldn't seem so bad if I did too. Part of me is like, "God no! Don't do it!" And the other part of me is like, "Well, why the hell not? Nothing else is working out so great. So I might as well be around people that love me?"

I dunno, maybe I'm being a little too harsh on life. I just don't get it though. I work so I can have money to pay for a place to live, eat, for stuff, to do things, and I'm just going through the motions of it all. Why does it matter? And then I think, "Oh, I sound so ungrateful. So now I'm going to lose everything so I can appreciate it." Well, that would kinda blow. I don't want life to get TOUGHER.

I do appreciate having a warm place to sleep, food, a family to call, etc. I really did mean it when I said I appreciate my car, and not farting. And I appreciate my job so that I can pay for my car/gas/insurance/maintenance.

So, I'm alive. I have stuff. I like it. I am grateful for it, and while I'm alive, I'd rather have it than not. But I still find myself asking why? And if I can't find an answer to that question, can I please stop asking it and just freaking enjoy life and all it's randomness? Why does it all have to have a reason?