Smile, though your heart is aching...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdlohO3qeYY

Smile though your heart is aching,
Smile even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky,
You'll get by, if you smile through your fear and sorrow.
Smile, and maybe tomorrow, you'll see the sun come shining through
For you.

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile.

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use in crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile.




My grandpa used to sing this song. Last fall/winter as he was dying, I tried singing it to him, but couldn't remember all the words. He didn't remember them either because of Alzheimer's. There was a moment though, when I think he remembered a little bit. He was trying to sing while we were taking a picture together.

I love this song. Mostly because it reminds me of him.

Sometimes though, I feel like I don't want to smile. I want to cry. But I suppose I get to choose how to be, even when there are sad, heart breaking things happening in life. (This is why I tell myself I am a good girl. I keep going though I'm so sad.)

Life just feels really heavy lately. I've been working so hard to make changes to things that didn't work for me. aka, a new job. That took a few weeks to make happen. Now that I have a job, (timing is all at once right now) I have a week to find a new place to live. Right as I am training on my new job, I am looking for a place, and will move.

My boyfriend and I decided now isn't the best time for us to move in together, like we've been talking about for months now. I get to move to another city to be closer to my job. New job, a move, and we'll see if my relationship survives this.

I knew our relationship would be a little different when I decided to get a new job, because we're going from having the same schedule, working at the same place, and seeing each other a lot to working different schedules at different places. Now I am moving away too. Without him. I'm only going to be a half hour drive away, but with entirely different schedules, I don't know when we'll see each other.

"Smile, though your heart is aching...."